But Rick what if you divide assets and debts equally, and then you are entitled to 10 years of spousal support your spouse doesn't want to pay, wouldn't you be able to agree to split the assets differently if that makes it easier for the spouse to agree to?
Here it is a fixed formula, but that's a starting point. If a couple walks in with a different agreement the court wouldn't reject it, that's my understanding.
My H offered $0 spousal support, because he doesn't think I'm entitled to any, after all he "subsidized" me during our marriage. He doesn't want to pay anything for the kids above the legal child support formula, which doesn't cover lacrosse or psychiatric out of pocket expenses. I think we have things to negotiate amongst ourselves and our lawyers before we file.
My H left all the stuff in the house. He didn't ask for any of it, and neither did I. It's just stuff. He took his clothes and his car, and I wish he'd take his d*amn gun safes too.
We have no debt, just the house, and he wants to co-own it until S13 is out of high school. I have to decide if I'm ok with that. If I can afford to buy him out I'll buy him out (then there's that price, negotiable right?), but if I can't afford it, or if it improves my net result, I'll agree to co-owning.
So much that I find complex.
One thing I'm not concerned about at all is staying amicable. I've been negotiating contracts and handling personalities for 25 years. In business, it's business. I would never, ever, accept a financial loss in order to keep someone from acting as if they feel mad. If they do, they'll get over it, and it's not my problem. I'm diplomatic, and I look for win-win's, but I'm not a pushover.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
