Another week down. D was sick Wednesday morning and H was off so I kind of expected he'd keep her but he wouldn't answer my calls or text. I ended up hearing from him once I'd already dropped her off at my mother's house. He never checked on her until I let him know I was putting her to bed early if he wanted to call. He talked to her maybe 3 minutes. Guess I'm just venting since this is not like him at all. I know it's the MLC but this was the guy who would check on me if I had a head ache this summer, he was much more vigilant with D if she was sick. I guess this is the distancing part.
But we're going to see Santa today, make him some cookies (she will be at H's next weekend), and Christmas treats. Going to GAL until I fall down!
H-44 Me-43 D9 T-13 years M-12 years BD-8/21/13 Sep- 11/19/13 D in process
Well we went to see Santa, got stuff to make treats, ended up hanging lights. D was afraid if none were put up then Santa couldn't find us so I put some up. H used to put them everywhere, so much so that my brothers and nephews called him Uncle Clark. So I put a paltry inflatable Santa and lights along the banister. Sad but something's up to let Santa know we're still here.
H-44 Me-43 D9 T-13 years M-12 years BD-8/21/13 Sep- 11/19/13 D in process
H came to pick up D this morning and I was pleasant and PMA. No anger from him, positive interaction so I'm happy with that. 5 days until Christmas break!
H-44 Me-43 D9 T-13 years M-12 years BD-8/21/13 Sep- 11/19/13 D in process
Day two of positive interaction. I think the more I control myself the more pleasant he is. I think he enjoyed how excited the dog was to see him too, lol. I'm glad to see him a bit happier, he's more helpful to me that way too.
My mother has been my sounding board through this since she has only shown disappointment in H, not hatred but telling me to pray and be nice. Seems her brother and aunt also had MLC. Her aunt left for 5 years, 4 children, husband and her mother. Her brother stayed home, gave the family hell and eventually came out the other side. Unfortunately he's still depressed and recently diagnosed with psychosis. We're praying that H will not get this far and will continue his therapy for depression and take medication if necessary.
Whew! Feels good to get it all out!
H-44 Me-43 D9 T-13 years M-12 years BD-8/21/13 Sep- 11/19/13 D in process
Another positive day with H (granted these are 5-10 mins lol) We've been texting since he left with D about Christmas but it's more than usual. His mom isn't helping with D as much as he thought she would so he's struggling to figure out how to do this. I think that's good for him.
Letting him go and work through it himself.
H-44 Me-43 D9 T-13 years M-12 years BD-8/21/13 Sep- 11/19/13 D in process
So what are you doing or YOU? What things can you do to help yourself feel better during this crud???
It helps. Some of this is just gonna stink and it may stink for awhile. Little things helped me get through the day. A foot bath, a bubble bath, a movie and popcorn...
Lots of love,
Heather
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Well Friday is a half day at school so I'm going that afternoon to get a pedicure. Then I'll finish Christmas shopping, get Chinese take out and a bottle of wine and go home to wrap presents and watch movies. I've got an appointment to get my hair colored and I'm going shopping for new clothes (thanks to the stress diet)after Christmas.
I'm doing stuff for me, going to start sewing again and learn to knit. Might even start selling on eBay again to make a little more cash.
H-44 Me-43 D9 T-13 years M-12 years BD-8/21/13 Sep- 11/19/13 D in process
Made the mistake of googling H's common username. Up he popped on a site dedicating songs to OW. My heart dropped to my stomach, I felt sick, and then I stopped, stepped back and read it like the mature 43 year old I am. That's when I started laughing, it was like something my 16 year old nephew would write! I knew he had acted like an adolescent boy in a rage when angry but this showed me he is truly not himself. He's back to his teenage years when it all went to heck in a hand basket. When he got his gf pregnant and instead of letting him step up and do what was right his dad wanted to control everything and he never had a relationship with his child until she was a teenager. His dad killed himself a few months later and I'm sure H blames himself.
Never going to let on that I know about OW, just let it play out. She seems as damaged as he is.
I'm off to finish Christmas shopping and spend time with my friends from college. GAL, girl!
H-44 Me-43 D9 T-13 years M-12 years BD-8/21/13 Sep- 11/19/13 D in process
Ugg! My plans got canceled, my cold is worse and I've got a Christmas present I can't find.
Also on the Karma front H's car is torn up and he can't afford to get it fixed, had to borrow money to rent a car to work and get D for visitation, and he's texting me that she's not feeling well and he might bring her home. Nope, you're her dad, suck it up and deal with it. She's only running a low grade fever, and laying around playing video games. I plan on laying around being sick myself, finally taking the time to rest and get well.
I wonder if vodka and coke are good for a cold? LOL
H-44 Me-43 D9 T-13 years M-12 years BD-8/21/13 Sep- 11/19/13 D in process
