NEW LIFE / NEW ME - AIRBORNE II

[Fartiltre]

LTH,
Thanks once again!

Do you still have a coach?

Yes, I spoke with her some weeks ago. She told me that I was on the right path. She told me the same as you, Sandi and others have done.

Are you making the small gestures and moves towards W that were discussed recently?

I have opened up when we talk! I try not to be as withdrawn and I try to be more kind but I haven’t initiated anything.

Could it be that she isn't answering her phone, adding anything to the email except the picture, etc. because that is what she is getting from you?

I think she didn’t answer simply because she was busy or didn’t hear it. She normally answers and when I text I normally get response very quickly.
…but YES, she could also be doing this because she gets nothing from me.

MWD says to adjust what isn't working. Do you feel that what you are doing is working?

THIS is my biggest problem! I see small things that could be positives, it could be nothing and it could be her just wanting the family-cake. I simply don’t know! When I am up I read her doings as her softening a little and when I am down I see her making her new life without me. All the business with XW1 could be W establishing the family-time I wouldn’t give her.
All in all I do not see her moving towards me (as I write this). I see her waving, I get hugs, she is always kind…and so on! At the same time I hear that she is sad and crying. I do not know how to read these things.
I could ask friends that talk with her about how she is and get clearance, but I see this as snooping and therefore I have not done it.

Do you see any adjustments you can make?

I can open more!
I can be even more talkative.
I can do things with her and I can initiate them. I haven’t initiated anything for months!
I could invite her to come along sometimes
I can tell her more about what the kids and I are doing.
I can respond quicker.
I think the keyword is: Initiate.
But isn’t this serving cake?

I could start asking her about her life
I could show some interest towards her life
Keyword here is: Interest.

As I have read the advice give and MWD initiating and interest isn’t what I want to do – but I just might have gone overboard on both. That does sound like me
Other than initiating and interest I wouldn’t know what to do, but I am SOOO open to suggestions!

LRT is to show them you are moving on but you are supposed to show them the new & improved you, be friendly, etc. Sometimes it does seem as if you are very withdrawn from W and it doesn't always sound like think it sends the message you want to.

That’s also my fear and I agree!


Do you think I should start initiating and show more interest in her life?
Can you give me some examples of the small gestures?

Thanks a million!
F