You're not even 5 weeks since BD, you're still in the early stage where emotions are hitting you like tidal waves. Have you read DR? If not then read it ASAP, it will give you plenty of hope. If you've already read it, then next I would suggest The Happiness Trap because it'll help you learn to deal with the crazy emotions you're going through.
It's OK to have breakdowns, but it's not OK to have them in front of your H or D. Save it for the drive home from work, or lock the bedroom and stuff your face into a pillow and let it all out. I used to cry all the way home from work (1/2 hour drive), pull it together long enough to talk to the kids a bit before going in my bedroom, locking the door and completely falling apart. Once I got it all out I would gather myself and go out and act "as if" in front of the W and kids. Over time the crying jags got shorter and shorter until I didn't need to cry anymore. It's all part of the recovery process.
