I see there have been some small, but nice positives in your sitch.
I also understand your need to talk about your R, to vent. It may not be DB, but we spend so much of our time worried about them, their need for time and space, that we don't have an outlet for our needs and feelings. I think as long as we have no expectations and accept the consequences of our decision (hopefully positive, but possibly negative) then it is healthy for us to say what we need to. I have also come to understand that no single event is likely to run the ship into the rocks, but we have to be careful not to steer too close to shore.
I still see many similarities in our situations, even if the specifics are very different. The more I read and observe my W, the more I believe she is experiencing a MLC. Once or twice she has made reference to a traumatic childhood. She is not any happier on her own than she was when we lived together. She is clearly depressed and withdrawn. She also repressed her feelings and kept score of all the slights I may have made against her. After BD, she would make frequent comments about how I should have known. I wish she had just spoken up at the moment. For some reason she blames me for her not saying anything. I know it doesn't change what I must do, but it does put things in context.
