Hi all. I'm new here.

[2ndTimeHurt]

The key is to do what works and to not do what doesn't work. Sounds much simpler than it is. Since you are not using the last resort technique, the rules are more like guidelines that you will deviate from. You have to figure out what is working and what isn't and because you are doing many things at once, it is hard to know what to focus on.

You also need to try things that may feel wrong.

It does seem like you are a bit too available. You maybe should have gone to let her in, but then left and not done the food thing. Do things differently than you normally would. Completely the opposite in many cases. Be a bit mysterious and unpredictable.

Good luck!!!

I hear ya on the mysterious thing. It's a bit hard for me to be mysterious as I dont have much time. I have my son a lot of the time and when I do go out(with a female friend), she knows about it. Haha. We sorta have this thing where we communicate too much I guess.

I try the whole "I'm just going out" but then she'll ask where, with who. And I don't mind saying but ill try to be vague but she'll question again. So to avoid any negative outcome, I just tell her.

You're right about the list being a guideline for me. I want to do what worked last time. Also I'm trying to do things that do feel unnatural for me. But ya, it's hard and I'm really just trying to focus on being positive and upbeat.