Fog City Coaster - trouble hanging on

[2ndtimearoundCA]

W is picking up mail which continues to come here. Her last thing is a bicycle and I wouldn't place too much significance in that.

Early on when w left it was like a D to her. She was totally done when she left.

We talked about how the divorce would go; We talked about how we would split stuff etc. but we never did any legal work. W doesn't need that for her to move on. If filing is left to her it could be years. The fact that she hasn't filed doesn't give me hope, but if she were to file it would be a HUGE statement. Like she met someone new and is sure she wants to be with that person And that person needs her to be divorced.

It took a very long time for her first divorce to get started; I think it was over three years and it was her husband who filed. I think most likely I will have to file to protect my assets.

I have no plans right now; I will rethink my position on that after the holidays.

I think I have gotten pretty good at not doing what doesn't work. And I have found a few things that worked a little.

I think 25mlc's point was that doing nothing gets me nowhere. I possibly needed to be bolder and less scared to act. I did do that over the summer when I invited w to Vegas with me. In the end that didn't work out. Still I could try again, but I think I need a better window of opportunity. And I may not get one. I tried a bit when she asked me for drinks for my bday. When she canceled the meeting (I had to message her to remind her before she canceled), I suggested that we try a weekend and she immediately shut down the next two possible weekends. She wasn't suggesting alternatives at that time so I felt like she may have been rethinking the drinks. It didn't feel like the right timing to suggest going to the ballet as 25mlc suggested.

When w and I were seeing each other every few weeks, I could have pursued a bit more. I wish I would have been more available when w contacted me asking for sex. I think if we would have had a good experience that may have tipped the balance towards me bit. Quite honestly, knowing my w, I think my most likely path back to her is if she opens the door to sex again and I can act like it is just meaningless no pressure sex. If I allow her to pursue and sex is involved she will likely get attached to me again.

I am considering sending some of the same kinds of texts that I was sending in May and June that seemed to work a little. I would think that those kind of get old after a while. It is interesting to note that she does respond better to things that are different ... Like that alien abduction text that I sent.

Over the past 10 months I have had the best success sort of creating openings for my w to pursue me. If I am available exactly when she is seeking me, we have had good times. When something gets canceled and I pursue she has backed off, but when I am not available at times she has pursued harder; other times she would disappear for weeks after something doesn't work out.

I am emotionally tired and I am not sure what else I can do at this point.