PM, I know you are only very guardedly happy, so I will just be super happy for you.
Good for you for not lunging for the squirrel . . . that shows a heck of a lot of self restraint and discipline.
It's stories like yours and people like you who make me want to keep my head held high and navigate this crappy time with intelligence, dignity and grace.
I am so rooting for you, PM.
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
To all who read and post to me, I truly appreciate your support. It really means a lot.
I spent the night again Friday and XW mentioned today that she thought about asking me to spend the night last night given it was closer to the Christmas party I was heading home from.
Just noting events for future reference.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
Generally/extremely positive interactions every day. If you feel so inclined, please pray for me and my family.
Again, I appreciate the support here.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
I have a bit of a predicament. I'm pretty sure XW got me a gift for Christmas. There are a few default items I could get, but one of those is no good because I see she had stocked up on it on her own (it's a seasonal fragrance, body wash, lotion) and default gifts like that and specialty candles are nice, but don't require much thought.
A few things she could really use are expensive, and money isn't a concern, but the message of spending it on her could be.
I'm usually really good with gifts, but maybe I've turned off/down my antenna for thoughtful gifts with regards to her. Maybe that was a part of detaching...I don't know. I'm usually always listening for hints and ideas throughout the year and typically purchase items months in advance.
I guess no one here will be able to help, so maybe I'm just thinking out loud. Ideas are always welcome, but it's hard to suggest a personal one.
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
This is always so tricky. I did buy my H a gift. It is personal in the sense that I know him, so I know what he might want/need but it's practical and not romantic or over the top. But, I think you may be in a better place with your W than I am with my H, if you recent posts are any indication. If things are still going well, you don't want to lunge for the squirrel by buying her something romantic, but on the other hand, you don't want to disappoint her with something generic. I don't know what your/her thoughts are on money - my H and I tend to buy gifts with no regard to price. Not to say that we buy the most expensive thing- quite the contrary. If H (or one of the kids) wants a $12 item, that's what they get. If the item they want/need/would love happens to cost $200, that's OK too. But - if you think that buying something expensive will look like it has a meaning attached to it, maybe not a good idea.
This isn't really helping, is it?
What I am saying is, that three days before Christmas, you should find your W a gift that is thoughtful and personal but not romantic, will show you care but not be overwhelming for her, and doesn't seem overboard with respect to cost.
Easy peasy.
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
What I am saying is, that three days before Christmas, you should find your W a gift that is thoughtful and personal but not romantic, will show you care but not be overwhelming for her, and doesn't seem overboard with respect to cost.
Easy peasy.
For once I can't think of anything thoughtful, something better than average. My goodness, last year I contacted the owner of a designer jewelry maker and had her create a fake contest that was rigged for XW to win a necklace she couldn't afford to buy (she still has no idea).
I've always been really good at this kind of stuff, but I'm racking my brain and I've just got nothing.
-A specific candle she likes is average. -The seasonal scented lotions I used to get - she's already stocked up on them (that's average too). -A DVD she wants also seems average.
I honestly can't think of anything non-romantic that isn't too expensive (large expense would send the wrong signal). Maybe when I was detaching I stopped paying as much attention as I used to.
-PM
Per my sig: -> -> ->
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
I did a picture collage of the boys for them to give to my ex. It was cheap and personable toward the people she enjoys the most in this world. I am not included in the collage.
You seem to be doing well and prayers will be sent your way. Thank you for all the support throughout the year!
Merry Christmas to you and your family!
H 37 WAW 32 S 4 (Autistic) S 2 Together 11 years Married 6 Bombshell Dec 1 2012 House sold, flying solo June 1 2013.
-> 