The thing is, I don't think she did get a coat. She said she would get D19 a coat over Thanksgiving break and, then, D19 never heard another thing. D19 is nervous around them because they are so judgmental and mean.
I'm sure they are blaming D19 for something. I'm not sure what that is? They do this thing where they set her up for failure. They will create new rules and, when D19 unwittingly breaks them, she gets the load of crud on her shoulders. I get the impression they are upset that D19 didn't contact THEM over Thanksgiving. Which, has never been a big deal. They are a lot of work and D19 says she misses them, but isn't sure she isn't happier when they stay away.
Plus, we have the added bonus of H who loves to tell his parents lies. He likes to keep everyone separated so no one compares notes. He has told the inlaws, in the past, that D19 wants nothing to do with them. All very sick.
I didn't take it the wrong way at all. I do let it pile up. I get overwhelmed and avoid it. I like the idea of a list for the New Year. I think I just may be excited about the New Year!!
I did call the roofer, but no one returned my call. I will work on that too.
The Jeep seems to be fine now. I think I may have overreacted (ha! not Heather!!) and it may have been snow that flew into the car when I opened the door. I was stressed about a million things and may have assumed it was the window because that happened to my last Jeep.
Nevermind.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
If your MIL did say she would get her a coat over Thanksgiving, maybe she meant she was purchasing it at that time for a Christmas present. I'm not trying to make excuses for this woman...but you need clarification. If you hear from your h, ask him about it and put it this way "H, I'm thinking of getting D19 a coat for Christmas. She needs one now that the weather is colder. Before I purchase one, I need to know if your mother did, in fact, get her one for Christmas or are you getting one for her."
By phrasing your sentence this way, he will have to respond and be truthful w/you. You need to know and your daughter needs a coat.
Of course they are blaming your daughter for something. They are blaming her for calling them on their BS. She sees right through them and they don't like the fact that she doesn't back down. They like to bully people and she's not one that you can bully. They want to control and manipulate and they can't do it w/her. So, when she avoids them, this burns them up. I've seen this a lot of times in families.
Call a couple of roofers for estimates...don't wait on that one. BTW, call today, some of them do answer their phones on Saturdays.
Yes, you were very stressed because you had a few things demanding your attention. You need to calm down, breathe and pick each one of those things apart one by one.
Start making your lists for 2014 and begin knocking them out as the year progresses.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I went to a party last night. I didn't want to go. There was a snowstorm, D11 was in a mood, D19 had friend over and I couldn't leave D11 home so had to find a place for her to go, forgot about the white elephant gift and food I was supposed to bring so had to stop at a store...
Anyway, I went. I'm glad I did.
I have a newsflash. There are really nice people out there in this world. Nice men even. Go figure.
I also took care of thing on my home maintenance list. I covered the motor for the bubbler in the pond. It's supposed to be covered for the winter. It's now covered.
I plan on staying home for today. I wrapped presents with D11 this morning. We had fun. Drinking coffee next to the fire. Life is good right now.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
I'm glad you went to the party and yes, there are a lot of very nice people out there in the world (including men). Sometimes you have to push yourself to go out and have some fun, but also to have adult conversation for a change.
I'm glad to see you are working on your home maintenance list and checking things off as you go along.
Wrapping presents can be fun and I'm sure your D11 enjoyed doing this w/you. A fire can make a home very warm and toasty. Enjoy your time sitting there and just relax for a bit. Your stress level has been on over load lately and it needs a bit of a break.
Enjoy the time you spend w/the girls. They grow up so fast and then they are gone.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Good work on crossing things off your list. That is something I have not been as good about recently. I like seeing what other people are doing, it's a good reminder for what *I* should be doing. So thanks for being a role model.
me-35 WAS-37 T-16 1/2 Son-14 (HF Aspergers) BD,ILYBINILWY,"I met my soulmate": Oct5,2013 "Letting go because I love him, holding on because I love him."
Heather, May I ask you a question? The pump that you covered...don't you have to drain that down so that the "workings" don't freeze or bust? The reason that I am asking is that people here drain them down to insure that there isn't any water up in the pump, etc.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
D11's best friend's dad owns a pond maintenance business. He is the one I ordered it from and so forth. It's set up to run all year. I didn't even really need to cover it, but it may help it last longer.
As far as the roof is concerned, everything is frozen right now. Dammm it's cold. I may have to cover the roof with a tarp until spring. Few roofers are willing to do anything this time of year.
The Christmas lights are finally finished. I put up a few more today and finished my strand across the gutter.
I have all my gifts for the girls wrapped except for a few that haven't arrived yet.
It's been a nice day.
I need to work on NOT allowing the stress of everything to spin me outta control. I know that's not a newsflash to anyone here. I needed to say this out loud for myself.
These are the anxieties driving my spin:
I'm scared right now because H still owes me that other $800, I'm fairly convinced he has gotten his crazy family jazzed up about me and D19 and I'm waiting for him to ask to take D11 to a family Christmas party--I'm sure there's some surprise waiting- him being him and all. Then, there's the Jeep. It's scary having D19 home because she is a money pit--food for one thing. Plus, the friends that follow her. And, the changes in the house with D19 home create anxiety for D11. D11 has relinquish control of their shared room and she is a neatnik. D19 is messy. So, it's just a lot. But, really it's just life.
On the positive side. I'm recognizing how I allow myself to spin and it impacts the girls' feelings. I want to be able to detach, not only from H, but from all this worrying. I don't want to avoid anymore. I want to deal with things and move through the problems without burdening myself with the worry--which then ends up becoming frustration and resentment which weighs on me, the girls(because of my mood) and, usually, ends up in H's lap.
I'm going to repeat the Serenity Prayer a few times today.
I'm not sure how to break this habit of worrying.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Sounds like you've got a lot done, especially the Christmas decorating and gifts. That can be a big stressor trying to get all of that done.
You may have to put another tarp on the roof to carry you through until spring. I'm sure the roofer could put one up there for you. You've had some mighty cold days there and the weather hasn't been too kind at all.
I wasn't sure what type of pump you had and thought I'd ask about it. Here, we drain them down and then cover them up.
I think you are anxious about things that may or may not happen. Isn't your h due to come visit your daughters next weekend? If that's the case, he may not ask them to go to his parents, especially if he has someone w/him. Then again, he may not even come home for a Christmas visit to his parents. See, anything can happen. I do understand your concern and all your daughters need to do is say no if he should ask them.
You may want to remind your D19 that she needs to pick up behind herself while she's home. After all, she is sharing a room w/her sister and you are not her maid. She's grown now and should be cleaning up behind herself. I wonder what her room is like at college. Things will work out. The girls just have to get use to sharing a room once again and hopefully they can get along for the short duration.
Yes, you tend to spin quite a bit, but more so when there are more than 2 things that hit you squarely between the eyes. Give yourself a break, you've had a lot of stressors over the last 3 months and it's going to take you a while to settle yourself down. Just remember, some of your stressor could be minor things and others might not be. Learn to recognize what you have control over and work on those items that are creating the stress.
I'd like to see you and your girls have a nice Christmas and really relax a bit this year.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
