Look what the cat dragged in! (TL) - Act 2

[tigerlily78]

Thanks WR, Job, and Pud.

I know he was being irrational, I know his behavior was not excused by anything I did... the hardest thing is walking this tight rope because he HAS created a dynamic where son and I need to rely on him for things, and then he is overwhelmed by the responsibility required. It's a no win situation for me.

I did send him a message to his computer laying the situation out. That he is choosing to micromanage jobs I used to do, which makes us more dependent on him, and then it seems like the burden of it is annoying and frustrating to him... what can we do to make the situation less frustrating? (I didn't make suggestions, just put it out there for him to consider)

The camping thing was not really something where I thought I could find an alternate ride. Everyone going already dropped their kids off Friday night and weren't picking them up until this morning. We were already sort of "halfassing it" by son not going to campout the whole weekend. I think it would have been good for him to go, but last month when they went he froze all night (he has zero body fat) so I didn't INSIST that he go. He had testing for school this week too and with all the drama at home, I just didn't think son needed to be compelled to do something he didn't really want to do. He likes being out in the wilderness... just the sleeping outdoors when it's chilly he dislikes.

Tonight I am supposed to go to a Committee meeting for scouts. I left a voicemail for a friend on her house number to see if she is going and would mind swinging by to pick me up. Haven't heard back yet.

Also looking at some "work from home" jobs now. It would probably be better for me to get out of the house to work, but I have to face the chance that maybe I won't get one of these jobs nearby and I'll need to figure out something else. I can't continue being completely financially dependent on someone who is so driven to be intentionally mean about it.

Last night he replied to my texts with "enjoy the rest of your minutes" ...implying he won't give me money to reload my phone when I run out. So childish, so selfish. It makes me sad that this is the person he is right now.

I think my H already knows he doesn't want to move out. I did pack his clothes just 3 weeks ago or so, and that made him livid. We both came to the conclusion at that time that neither of us wanted him to move out. Maybe he has changed his mind?

But I do worry that he will keep escalating the hurtful behaviors toward son and I... I am not sure how you can deal with that without being a B*tch or a doormat. Advice?

I WISH he was in withdrawal... then at least I might feel like these outbursts were serving some purpose. I worry he is just cycling back into Monster, but has some sense of it. That he wants to run away as Monster instead of being here... even though Monster does make choices and decisions that are hurting us even when he is away.

I feel like I am caught in such a Catch-22. How can I make sure son and I get the bare necessities of life we need right now, without having to ask/pester the person holding control over those resources and seemingly intentionally is withholding them?