So in other words your plan revolves around your W seeing or realizing something, and in DBland that is called not focusing on what you control. You only control you.
Good news about the financial situation though. I do hope it makes a difference for you.
And saying you have let go of something is different from doing the long, hard, and often backsliding work of making a profound change to your way of thinking. So your words don't tell me anything. You don't have to convince me; I just call what I perceive. I have also let go of an entrenched way of thinking, and it's been years, cost thousands in counseling, and requires continual checking and correcting. If you were able to just "let go" I commend you but it has been very recently that I've seen exactly what I'm talking about. One example is the words you chose to talk about handing your wife cash out of her paycheck in the amount of 50% of the mortgage as a unilateral decision to teach her something.
And the main point I'd like to make about your marital status is: Have you told your wife specifically that you do not consider yourself married to her and she and you are free to have sex with whomever you want? Have you, in words, clearly and overtly, specified that you are separated and living together only as housemates? If she offered sex to you, you would say no?
If not, then your mental definition stated here of what an open marriage is, is meaningless in real life.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
