Moving In

[adinva]

But CES it's B-DAZZLED, you'll love it. Wear it with pride.

Hi Rock. I'm doing fantastic. Now that I'm comfortable with the loss of my 20 year marriage, I've got the loss of my 15-year job to deal with...I'm just going to be on the lookout now for identity theft because one more big blow might really hurt my PMA.

That sounded like self pity but I was going for gallows humor.

The first part was the most accurate; I'm doing fantastic. I'm grateful for new opportunities, whatever they might be. I look my best, feel great, harbor no resentments - try to, and feel a lot of power over where I'm going in life.

I've got deep relationships with selected close friends and family, and professional support in my IC, that help pull me through. I've got lots to appreciate, beautiful children, diverse talents, supportive family, and 100 pounds of fur-covered unconditional love in dog form. How can I complain?!

I'm not divorced yet, or even legally separated yet, lol, but other than on paper my divorce was completed long ago and it is for the best. My kids are healthier and our family is more authentic now that I am not covering up and plastering over their dad's shortcomings. I'm no longer making lemonade out of lemons in my marriage. I feel less alone now that my alone-ness is on the outside and not just on the inside, hidden from public view.

So I think this forum is the best place to get and give support as I get the blasted paperwork out from behind the couch cushions or whereever I left it, and ask for what support I'm entitled to, and get it, and move on.

I'm still 100% in favor of marriage as an institution and look forward to falling in love again, hopefully getting married again. Even if it only lasted another 20 years, that could be a good thing. I know one thing I didn't at age 27, and that is that I will never again accept a bad marriage out of misguided respect for the institution. I will protest bad treatment, I will insist on getting help if needed, and I will be the first one out the door next time if no reasonable effort is made to maintain a healthy relationship. A wedding ring is not a life sentence, it's a promise.

Short question, long answer. If you know me, you know to expect that.

Rock, your marriage was the pits and you're better off. There, I said it.