Hi Melissa thanks for that and for reading all that stuff I wondered is this OK and where is this going the whole time and the word validate screaming in my head..
He was in such a good mood i did not want to spoil it.. but I think it was OK . He was even good to teh dog this weekend
Ithink you hit the nail on the head.. if I am negative and critical and controlling thne he is free to doo what he wants but if I am the good guy.. well that makes things different.. I think what is really great
and a lot thanks to you and your "encouragement" is that the changes he asked about in attitude are real , not get my H back changes. i am grateful and I do think everyone is doing the best that they can, and that i am not in control, nor do i want to be.. that everyone has some good and I need to see it and I should remember to saythank you all the time and mean it and i should look out for small reasons to have gratitude.. and material possessions mean nothing unless the relationships are good.. that speaking quietly and giving him time to answer - even if he leaves these LONg silences i just want to fill with chatter are important and at the end of the day you rely on yourself..
Yes he is a big conflict avoider but today it did not feel that way. he said we have 2 opposite opinions about the same topic. i agreed and said we both think we are right so is there a middle ground ? Are there conditions that yo need to feel safe and protect yourself? maybe he was avoiding conflict I will see and you will hear.. He did look at the dog and ak what would we do with him.. so i do think he was really thinking not just running..I hope so..
