F, I am right there with you. My H came over for Thanksgiving, and acted like he did when he still lived here, rubbing my shoulders while I was cooking, happy, hanging out as a family, we ML after dinner. Since then - big time quiet. A few hit and run texts where I assume he was just checking to see if he could still pull my strings (once I answered, he stopped). But other than that pretty much only contact is re: kids.
I guess he did say he wants to spend Xmas as a family, and we are going out together tonight . . . but other than that, I feel like he is moving farther away and it makes me feel very nervous. I love my H and miss him too. It $ucks.
My DB coach says to expect that after some forward movement by WAS, there will be a step or two back. She also says that quiet isn't bad - it means he/she is thinking. If your last interactions were good, that's what you have left her with to think about, so at least there's that, right?
Then I do the same as you, and wonder if I am the one who is backing off.
I guess you can always test and check, right? Send her a little text or email, something funny and light, and see if/how she responds.
Maybe this is wishful thinking, but I am not convinced that all WASs think they are in the driver's seat as much as we feel they are. Even though they have asked for space and we are giving it to them, that doesn't mean that we need to put the entire burden on them to reconnect. Depends on the situation, of course, but where the WAS is friendly and things seem to be going fine, but he/she has been quiet, I don't think that reaching out in a test and check fashion is a big risk.
On an unrelated note, I noticed some of the European folks here use the word "properly" in a way that we Americans do not. I am trying to figure out what it means. Does it mean "probably" or "rightly"? Or something else? Just curious.
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
