Rock I'm reading back on your first thread since you said you've been through this. But the only similarities I see are presence of an OM.
Other than that our W behavior and actions seem very different and hence why you may feel that Im really putting up with a lot.
Truth is, my wife always talks to me with respect, and we have a good time together when we used to do stuff together several months ago.
She is not acting irrationally or spending money or taking money or threatening a child custody battle.
She doesn't talk down to me at home. Actually since I stopped fighting her on her logic and stopped trying to change her mind etc.. our interactions are very positive
If I initiate physical touch or affection, like a hug, whe will hung back enthusiastically.
If I mention I want to go do something, she wants to come with me. She wants us to go on vacation.
Its a classic cake eater and I get that. I'm trying to follow db principles of time and space and trying to draw her in.
I'm not sure why the lessons that db teach don't apply to my situation. I thought we should evaluate if something is bringing them closer or pushing them away. And that we shoulr act from a place of love.
I'm going to call my db coach for a chat. The last couple calls i was advised to be careful with advice here.
I think we shoulee give each other support and be there for each other and answer questions. Even tell each other our experiences. What bothers me is it always ends up being that peoole are pushing their own decisions on me and then when I explain why I don't like, some posters say oh ok then you don't need me, ill just move along.
Some, not all. Most have been helpful but we need to be mindful of how we are each different and our M are different and the dynamics are different. I want to know peoples opinion but i don't want to feel like someone is mad at me for not doing exactly as they say.
Is that reasonable? Or am I crazy.
And again, as I said a few pages ago, no one has even noticed or commented on the actual things I needed help with that pertain to ME and my self improvement.
The conversation just goes to how I should stand up for myself and kick her out
Getting a little frustrated. I need to sleep on this and come back tomorrow....
Beginners mind.
Me, H-34 now 38 W-32 now 35 T-13 now 18 years M-6 now 9 Daughter 3 years now 7 Bomb 11/27/12 - OM 1 year in house separation Reconciliation 12/2013. Healed now 2017
