Oh boy, Pud, that must have been a difficult conversation.
Here's what I believe. This whole process is not a one size fits all. It cant be because every crisis is different, every reason for it is different, the people in it are different, as are the situations.
What might be right for one, might not be right for someone else.
But I also think that the basics should be the same. GAL, beginners mind, do what works, dont go down cheeseless tunnels, etc.
WIth the MLCer, there are some things that I have found to be true. Their issues run deep. They have not learned coping skills, they have to go through the whole journey to come out the other side.
So, you said what you said. You wanted him to hear it. He has, right? No need to say all that again.
I want you to be prepared that this might make a difference for the very short term, as in him showing you he had work, but, in the long term, it will not have the affect you might be hoping for.
You need to let this sit with him. He needs time to process it all. It could very well send him rushing back into the tunnel for a time. What it does long term, you cant be sure.
I hope having said all that brought you some sense of peace. I hope that you keep your expectations at zero. I hope you know what an incredible lady you are.
