I think I can stop this.... can you help me?

[AnotherStander]

I do not want to put any pressure on her that is the reason that I will not bring the M up and will instead just wait to see if she says anything.

Good, that's the right approach. It's very difficult, you really have to fight the urge not to say something or ask her what her plans are; but it's best not to ask because asking is pressure.

I just don't understand why all of the sudden affection if she still plans on leaving. I understand keeping the peace and seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, but the things she is saying and all the affection are going overboard on her end if this is her plan.

Well, there's a lot going on inside the WAS's head. They may seem very calm and collected on the outside, but they are confused and in turmoil inside. They're not sure they're doing the "right" thing in breaking up the M. Often they'll try to keep the LBS on the hook as plan B in case their new, exciting, fantastic life adventure without their spouse turns out to be not so great after all. So they'll do just enough to lead the LBS along. And as long as the LBS says things like "I'll always wait for you" then the WAS will be content to cake-eat. It's often said around here that the WAS had to learn to miss the LBS, and usually that doesn't happen until the LBS gets fed up and decides they're done waiting. It's the ultimate irony, but as long as the LBS waits the WAS isn't interested, but when the LBS finally well and truly moves on then THAT is when the WAS might look back. That's why we stress giving the WAS time and space and getting a life for yourself. It's also why there are Sandi's rules about never bringing up M talks, never following the spouse around, being mysterious, etc. It's what works, not just for possibly bringing the WAS back, but for giving the LBS the tools they need to feel better about themselves and get on with living life whether with or without their spouse.

[Fitz]

You are exactly right. The more life I get lately the more interested she becomes in me. Last night when she came home from work she needed help moving some boxes in from her car. Over the past few weeks she has been moving all of her "important" stuff (paperwork, pictures etc) to her grandparents basement to keep it away from me. She decided yesterday that she wanted to move it all back. "This is my home and my stuff belongs here" is what she said.

Today I didn't hear from her until she called me on my way home from work. She invited me to her fathers house for dinner. I declined, said I'm just going to go home and relax. When she arrived home from dinner I wasn't there, I had gone out to do a few errands.

She also told me tonight that she got a baby sitter for Saturday so her and I could go to the movies since we haven't been out together in a long time. I told her that sounds great.

I am moving forward with working and worrying about myself. Even though part of me still wants to try to talk to her about the M I will not do so. No matter how much it is driving me nuts not knowing what's going on in her mind

[2chiquitos]

For the past few days your posts have all been about your wife doing this and doing that. You got a bad case of the "She...She" 's.

Consider posting only about FItz's progress. Leave her out of your posts. Leave out the marriage for the time being. Just enough for you to recollect yourself from all this. She has you bouncing back and forth and you are hanging on every little bit of hope she is offering you. Focus on yourself.

What have you been doing for YOU! Homework: Post only about your GALs!!