SM34's Post

[SM34]

In a lot of ways, what might possble happen now is a correction in the roles we played in our previous marriage..

I stop assuming the role of parent, which I never wanted. I've tried to show her that a job and career would be good for her and for us. I even signed for her student loan. But she didn't ever do anything with it (her interior design degree).

Now, since the day she got the job, she has wanted to pay all that she can. I think she realizes that I've been under a lot of pressure and that in a lot of ways that wasn't a fair burden to put soley on me. Plus she will feel better about herself when she is contributing.

Does it make sense to work together as co parents to fix our finances. She seems to wait to and has never wanted to run and leave me with all the debt.

Of course I would need to really drop the expectations and just let go, and let God as they say. If it results in D, or R, we would be in a better place either way if we work together to fix this mess.

Is this fantasy talk? I don't think it is really. I've accepted her decision. But we can get so much further so much quicker if we work together.... and we could recalibrate our relationship into one of equals.