Even that, sorry, sounds patronizing. You're either handing her allowance or you're "making her" have skin in the game. Can you possibly reframe it in a way that respects her as a wage-contributing equal? Do you have a budget, and if not can you sit down with her and work on making one together?

If it takes all of both your incomes to pay your bills then neither of you gets spending money. If it doesn't, then both of you get spending money. If you have no idea, then you need to work together to change that so you do. The decisions should be mutual.

If she's depositing her money and you're the one who sits and decides if she gets any back or doesn't, you're acting like you own her. Maybe you can learn how to do this together.

Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
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Happiness is a warm puppy.