Sinking into a dark place

[Accuray]

I'm not sure his wife is a WAS -- it's more of a sex starved marriage situation. She's not really complaining, she's not threatening, she's still willing to have sex with him, she has just reached a point of low desire and he resents her for that, which is understandable. This is the type of situation where MC can help IMO because it doesn't sound like she is checked out.

If his goal in MC is to show her she's wrong and she needs to change then he probably will have a WAS situation eventually but I don't think he is there yet.

Here's my issue with MMSLP: if you actually read it carefully it's a fine bit of input for self help, but it is not fact, it's not proven, and it does not suit every relationship. It's definitely not written for a WAS situation. My issue is not the book, but people who read it and interpret it as a cure all -- to the man with a hammer everything looks like a nail.

It's not reasonable to expect your spouse to lust after you over the course of a 20 year marriage -- passion will come and go over and over again.

With MMSLP the message risks being interpreted as "you're not a good enough man -- you're too beta and that is bad." Now take someone whose self esteem has already crashed and hand them that message. 3 months of hitting the gym and chest thumping behavior is not going to turn a lifelong introvert into a player with incredible game, and if the takeaway is that you are therefore inadequate I don't buy it.

Everyone owes it to themselves to be the best person they can be -- after that you need to be with someone who appreciates who you are and the good qualities you have. If you have to remake yourself into a macho man to get the sex you want with your current partner I think you're going down a cheese less tunnel.

I respect anyone who thinks differently, just my two cents

Acc