CC, I hear you on being grumpy when you don't sleep well. I feel like I am perpetually in a state of "not being rested" and it wears on you... I can't imagine doing this with younger children. At least mine is old enough I can go take a nap if I must and not worry about him.
Do you have other family members or friends who might be able to pitch in and give you a break? I know you don't want to have to confide in a lot of people the details of your situation, but that doesn't mean you can't just lean on them for help when you need it.
me-35 WAS-37 T-16 1/2 Son-14 (HF Aspergers) BD,ILYBINILWY,"I met my soulmate": Oct5,2013 "Letting go because I love him, holding on because I love him."