Being the nice person isn't always fun!

[job]

CC,
You could ask, but he may not be able to tell you why he's behaving the way he is. It could be the holidays, it could be that he senses you are distancing yourself from his antics, he could be lonely or it could be all of the above.

If you do ask him, it might make him think about what he's doing and he could very well cease the "asking you out on a date".

If I were you, I'd accept him for who he is today and if you want to go out w/him, go, treat him as an old high school classmate that's come to town, keep the expectations at zero and have some fun. No one knows how they'll be tomorrow.

[CallaghanClown]

Ok I'll try. I'm not convinced I'll be able to get through another meeting with him without asking.

I'll have to see how it goes when I see him.

[job]

CC,
If you could think of a way to not ask him directly, you might get a more honest answer. I know it's difficult and you would like to know what's going on, but sometimes, direct questions throw them thru a loop.

Good luck!

[CallaghanClown]

Today I just felt anger towards him so there was no way I'd have asked him anything today. May see him tomorrow, if not on Sunday. I'll see how it goes then.

There may be a few indirect ways of me bringing it up. I'll keep it in mind.

[CallaghanClown]

I'm feeling angry and frustrated today. I felt resentment towards him because I had to act all nice and sweet towards him, like I didn't care what he'd done (or is doing.....who knows).

I didn't sleep well, so I think I'm just feeling irrational and overwhelmed with the busy little life I have with all the stuff for the kids on my shoulders.

We have a busy little weekend planned but I'm having fun with friends too, so I'm hoping to feel better after that.

I'm just feeling grumpy. When I feel like this I usually lean on him a but more to take the kids off my hands for a few hours......I'm guessing that's why I'm feeling overwhelmed. Not bad seeing as though I'm 3 months in.....this is the first time I've really really craved a break.

[tigerlily78]

CC, I hear you on being grumpy when you don't sleep well. I feel like I am perpetually in a state of "not being rested" and it wears on you... I can't imagine doing this with younger children. At least mine is old enough I can go take a nap if I must and not worry about him.

Do you have other family members or friends who might be able to pitch in and give you a break? I know you don't want to have to confide in a lot of people the details of your situation, but that doesn't mean you can't just lean on them for help when you need it.

[CallaghanClown]

I've got a great little network but that provides support rather than rest bite. I'm just shattered and feeling like I need some me time. Hopefully this weekend will do it.

[Pudmuddle]

Make some you time CC. It is seriously important to our mental health. Sometimes I back off these boards for days because it can get me in a down mood.

Take a nice bath with candles and pamper yourself like a spa would. I did that once and it refreshed me for days and helped me sleep better too.

there are some over the counter sleep aids that can assist for a little bit in helping you get a full night's rested sleep. Also melatonin is natural and helps in those down times. Just some thought I had reading your posts.

I sincerely hope you feel better soon. It's hard enough to deal with all this cr2p let alone, insomnia adding to it.

Take care please.

[CallaghanClown]

10 year anniversary today......he's coming to we the kids. I needs to chat about Christmas plans....I'm not looking forward to it. I don't want what he wants and he doesn't want what the kids want.....

I've had a rough few days. Very emotional. But feeling better. A wise person told me to work on my fear, so that's what I'm doing.

I can live without him. I'm actually living without him. I'm happier without him. I'm looking after myself. The kids have stability. I need to build my new life after Christmas. New job needed. New house needed.

I come first now. I'll always have the kids best interest at heart but they can't always have everything they want if it will harm me. I'm their constant and I need to be happy to keep them happy. This isn't selfish, it's building a sustainable future.

My H has to build his own support network now. I'll always be there for him but I can't put him first anymore. It's harming me. It can't any longer.

I suspect he has the OW on the go again too, so I need to step back. His journey, his choice, none of my business.

This girl is moving on!

[LoisB]

Hi CC,

I've had a rough few days. Very emotional. But feeling better. A wise person told me to work on my fear, so that's what I'm doing.

So, what are you feeling afraid of???