Wait. She has a list of things she wants to buy "herself" and a list she wants OM to buy her?
I believe she has a list she wants to buy for herself, and she has a list she wants to buy for OM, with "her" money.
SM, do you know what a consequence is? I am being honest, because I sincerely wonder if you do. Here is an example of NO consequence. I will say, "SM put your hand into this fire". You do, and surprisingly it does not hurt. Actually it feels pretty good. Then, I give you money to repeatedly put your hand into that same fire. You see, there is no consequence there. I am literally paying you to do something that feels pretty good, with no consequences. That is EXACTLY what you are modeling for W. Do you remember teaching your child not to touch something that is "hot"? Typically, they don't learn completely, until they get burned. Your W needs to feel what it is like to burn herself! This was a strange analogy, but think long and hard about it, SM.
