Yeah, anger is a b*tch. Even if directed at oneself. BTDT. I even have a t-shirt.
I remember a time I started to self-loathe myself. I was buying the BS that it was all about me. The thing I wanted was leaving because of my mistakes. She almost transferred her BS to me. But at some point, I began to realize that I never was perfect. Never. Not a day in my life. I also realized I could have been absolutely perfect and it wouldn't have mattered for what she was doing. As I kept on that thinking, I realized that all the other things I didn't like about me... that was yesterday. I could not change that nor should I want to.
I began to look at those things differently. I looked at them like you might a history book. It happened, but it wasn't the defining moment of my here and now.
Self-loathing and depression is more about an outlet for your anger if you ask me. My suggestion is to keep getting a good night's sleep, and regular exercise. It will impact your mood far more than you might think while you're processing and contemplating and making new memories.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
