I really haven't been doing more of the same. For the past about 4 months I've been staying out of her way and out of her physical space. I've just now picked up again on the test and check, affection stuff.
Or do you mean that I was mind reading again on OM?
What I meant was it still sounds to me like everything you do is still a "strategy" to try and get W back. You have a history of trying to diagnose what is "wrong" with your W and what steps you need to take to "fix" things. It's like this comment:
Quote:
I put my arm around W a we walked and she put her arm around me. She seemed to be squeezing a little hard and kind of had her head on my shoulder a little as we walked.
She "seemed" to be squeezing a little hard and she "kind of" had her head on your shoulder. Wow, you can read so much into the most benign acts! You almost make it sound like her reaction to you putting your arm around her means she's ready to reconcile! Quit trying to figure out what every little thing means, because a lot of the little things like that don't mean anything at all.
Originally Posted By: Accuray
SM34, Here's my $0.02 -- I feel like you're pretending with W that you've "dropped the rope" but in reality you haven't.
SM, I think that Acc's entire post is spot on, but regarding ^^this^^ comment I think you're not just trying to fool your W about dropping the rope, but you're trying to convince yourself you've dropped the rope too. It's very evident to those of us reading here that you haven't though, and we're trying to help you see that. You are totally on her roller coaster, you've got a front row seat.
MWD says in DR that we humans hate change, so instead of really and truly changing we'll do the same things over and over but call it something else to make us think it's a change. So I might write a letter to my W telling her why we should get back together, but I get no response, so I call her and tell her the same thing. I think you'd agree that both acts are the EXACT SAME THING but I can tell myself I did two different things since one was email and the other voice. See what I mean? You have been stuck in the exact same patterns and ruts throughout your sitch, DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT! Ask yourself, what is something you could do that is radically different? Something like Acc's suggestion of packing her crap up and changing the locks while she's at OM's. I'm not saying you need to do that, but I AM saying you need to think BIG. I wish you would just get disgusted with putting up with her constant trips to OM and just get DONE already. THEN you might do something different!
