I think the holidays are getting to me. In a week we will be in Europe with H's sister and brother and their families.
My SiL is my best best friend. My BIL supports me and the kids emotionally and in the sitch.
Anyway I just feel like I am on the verge of tears - I almost don't want to go. To face again H 's looks of contempt- the dismissive behaviour - the secret phone calls- the hiding- the behaviour that translates into 'busting is not my responsibility anymore' which is further translated into petty behaviours. I almost pulled out of the trip actually- thinking me and the kids can just go to my family and out of the blue D6 expressed how excited she was about the trip. So of course I didn't cancel it.
I can't believe how much I dread something I used to love so much. This was one of the best parts of marriage for me. Being with my h and our kids and his family during the holidays.
I am so tired of being alone ... I want to share my life, my world with someone.
Ok - need to pull out of this funk.
am eaning up some things in the house today. Doig a little shopping and then have the staff Xmas party tonight! Fun!!
It snowed in this part of the world last night! Not normal at all! It's freezing for us over here!!
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
