Hi all. I'm new here.

[2ndTimeHurt]

Talk about screwing up my validating!! Man did I blow it badly tonight.

Since my last post things were moving back to "normal". She even invited me over for dinner. But then she asked me to cancel my benefits package that she was on along with my son. She was paying half of it because she was on it. I thought that was fair. But then she says that she's starting one up at her work and only she and our son will be on it and she wanted me to pay half. I asked if I was going to be on it because we had discussed that previously if I were to cancel mine(mine was really good but pretty expensive). So anyway that caused her to get annoyed and I calmly asked if we could discuss it calmly. She wasn't having it, so then I say I will pay 1/4 since I'm not on it. I honestly thought that was fair but maybe I'm being totally wrong. This led to an argument based on our past relationship. This is where I should've shut my mouth and diffused the situation. Instead I defended some hurtful things she was saying to me.

Long story short, she thought that I was totally blaming her and I did nothing wrong. Which isn't what I was trying to do. I mentioned to her that her feelings are hers and I am not responsible for how she feels. She took that as me saying that I did nothing wrong and she's to blame for everything.

Man I feel so awful right now. I was just starting to feel better about getting out of my last back slide and here I go again!!!

Anybody have any tips? I feel like I need more tools.