Roller coaster is kicking my a$$ folks. W is blatantly pushing buttons and reeling me back in. It's been a day to day thing over the last week or so. On one hand, she sits with me and talks with me like old times. She shares her day, smiles and everything. I use my best listening and validation skills. The next day, she wants nothing to do with me, ignoring me and staying up til 2:30 am texting OM.
At the same time, I'm trying to detach and make myself a better man. Heck, I'm trying to find out who I really am. I've got so much work to do on myself, that the sh!t she's doing shouldn't matter.
REJECTION-that's the hardest part of everything. Just wanting to be loved and accepted and thought of as worthy by the most important people in your life. If someone at work thinks I'm not a good person, I can say pi$$ on them, they can kiss my a$$. If someone in the grocery store looks at me with the hollow, unloving look my W gives me, I don't think twice. Not receiving a sense if acceptance and worth from those that are closest to our heart kills us. Whether that's our parents or our spouse, it's devastating. It crushed lives every day.
To be a strong, stable person we must find that from within. That's my journey.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
