3, don't let H's comment get to you. It's obviously coming from a place where he is upset with himself, but instead of acknowledging that, he is blaming you.

With the asking you if he is a good Dad, I wonder if, because he has been trying so much harder lately than ever before, he was hoping for some positive feedback from you. Have you let him know (outside of that convo, like on your own) that you think he has made great strides in being a good father? Just curious.

me: 44 XH: 42
M 11 years
D10 and S8
Bomb drop 9/27/13
D final 7/1/14