Thanks, Heather. And thanks to all of you ladies, for the words of confidence.

I received a call this morning about the job interview I had a few days ago. They said that the company finalized 4 people so far who had the interviews at the same time with me, and I’m not one of them. My mood immediately sank to the lowest level. I’ve been trying really hard to fight the negative thoughts and not let them affect me.

My health insurance is going to end this month. Yesterday I had a call with my old insurance agent and he made it sound so confusing for me get a new plan. I need to do more research, I just have no energy to do it…

I went for a walk with my dog, I stood on the sun at the park and felt like I just wanted to disappear from the face of the earth for a while and come back when all of this is over. I feel so exhausted and drained. With everything…

I feel like I’ve been fighting for something for the last 18 months, and I no longer know what it is. Is it myself? Is it the imaginary relationship with my H? It is no longer there. He doesn’t even show any concern or interest in me or my situation. I hate it that I still have hopes. I hate it that I still cannot make the final step myself. I don’t want to deal with it. I’m tired of fighting with the feelings of sadness, anger, despair… I want a magic switch in my head to turn, so I would not care anymore.

I know my situation is not the worst out there. I just need to take it day by day now. Well, I have a gift certificate to a salon, so going for a facial today.

M:50
H:52
S28 (my S from previous marriage)
M:17 + 3
BD: 06/12
S: 06/12 - H works in another state