Right after BD, I also "took the initiative" to seek MC. In retrospect, it was a mistake....at least for my sitch. I did the same thing that mellisag did. I wanted to be proven right, and I spent my time...actually we BOTH spent our time, expressing our issues with the other person. That was partly to blame for the counselor we chose, who was just as happy to provide a smooth transition towards separation. She was definitely not solution based or pro-marriage, even though she touted herself as such. Combine that with a wife who already had one foot out the door, and you can imagine the outcome. I think our scenario is VERY common. When I look back, not only was my wife not willing to work on it, I don't even know if I literally knew how to work on it either. This may be a hard pill to swallow AT, but I am going to tell you something. I don't think you are fully capable to know how either, at least not right now. I hear a LOT of blame in you. If you don't address that on your own, It very well may be a recipe for disaster in MC.
