NEW LIFE / NEW ME - AIRBORNE II

[Fartiltre]

AS,

F- I haven't read every post on your thread so apologies if I was suggesting something that conflicts with other advice.

It has been a long journey and some long threads so don’t even go there!

I read most of your post and I like your views – this also goes for your post here. I don’t even think the advice you have given and the advice received earlier conflicts that much. What I do think is that I am a lousy ballplayer when it comes to many aspects of DBing and one of these aspects is wording sentences like this.

I was trying to read the message from your W's perspective and I feel like she would perceive it as you blaming her.

I agree with you! To me it also sounds blaming and W just might comprehend it that way. This is the exact reason for me posting it – I would like advice and help on this, and I got it.

I am still confused about what to say but that’s due to me and not your or others advice.
So please…do not apologize!!! The help I have received from you and many others on this forum has saved me from F…ing up my own and my children’s life. Thanks!

Wonka,
Thanks for chiming in again – how is that crush on me these days

Please explain this one “F4MW” – what does that mean?

The trick is to allow W do most of the contacts and initiating the convos.

I am doing this and have been since late august. She is contacting me a lot and when I compare to other sits in here A LOT, but IMHO she is only doing this to get cake. She want’s family time and she has planned on this since BD. I am not mindreading – she stated this. She want’s Christmas, new year, weekly dinners…all of it and she went rather angry when I turned her down. I still don’t think she wants me – only some of my time. I hope this change and since I am only 9 months in and still have the patience.

Consistent actions and permanent 180s are the key in drawing back the WAS.

I know this as well – I have been told many times in here! I am trying to be as consistent as possible but in some areas I find it hard since I am changing. I have read a lot, been in here countless hours, had DB-coaching, I started seeing a shrink 6 months ago….I am changing and that kills consistent in some areas. I am confused about myself and I transfer this to others.
If W came tomorrow and asked for R – I honestly wouldn’t know what to reply. I do not feel ready. I want her back but I want myself back first.
Bla bla – hopes it makes sense!

Thanks both! Your words, opinions and guidance are as always much appreciated!

F