As their mother she does deserve more info. I wasn't keeping it short because that is what she does, I just didn't want the contact if I could help it. I don't really feel like that anymore though. Giving her the extra info felt good, like I'm not being quiet to protect myself anymore or to prove a point. It's more the info I would give my brother if I was looking after his daughter.
that sounds great. Remember, it's not your job to teach her anything.
Be the man you want to be regardless of how other people in your life are.
Quote:
On Friday I am going to see the kids in their xmas carol service and then we are all going for dinner. Not sure how I feel about it.
Why are you going to dinner?
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
As their mother she does deserve more info. I wasn't keeping it short because that is what she does, I just didn't want the contact if I could help it. I don't really feel like that anymore though. Giving her the extra info felt good, like I'm not being quiet to protect myself anymore or to prove a point. It's more the info I would give my brother if I was looking after his daughter.
that sounds great. Remember, it's not your job to teach her anything.
Be the man you want to be regardless of how other people in your life are.
Quote:
On Friday I am going to see the kids in their xmas carol service and then we are all going for dinner. Not sure how I feel about it.
Why are you going to dinner?
I will be turning up on Friday only for an hour or so to see the kids do their xmas carol service. I didn't want to just leave after as normally I would take them with me for the weekend but I'm not so I asked if I could take them to dinner. W said yes we can all go as it may be good for them. I could have said no but then she could say no. Soending that little bit more time them is more important than whether she is there or not.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
Seems a sound decision then. Put on your smiley face and focus on the kids.
If she wants to talk R, etc you could calmly say, "this isn't the time for that, this is kid time. We'll talk another time." and then give her a time to call you and talk about whatever, don't just blow her off.
T, you have made such great strides, just like your thread title a giant leap forward.
Your 22 hour "date" was fun, even to read about, but you know, go slow.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
I don't think she will want to talk R but you never know.
It's more likely she will try and pretend she hasn't been a total b**ch for the last 12 months and expect me to play along in her fun.
Like you said, smiley face on and focus on the kids.
It's very easy to just go with the flow but I am aware of myself when it comes to the dating. I have an internal dialogue that I use to keep myself grounded and my expectations chained down.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
Santa came early for you my friend..........Keep focus on your kiddos- but what a wonderful holiday distraction
Well played Sir!
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
Thanks, it will help with the holiday blues somewhat but to be honest I feel fine going into xmas. I have had a long time to get my head around it.
Got a message from W the other day: W: Can you phone me when you get a minute?
I phoned her and she started telling me about the CSA (Child Support Agency) and in the new year the payment will be going up 20%! She said that they always put it in her bank mid month and she would prefer at the start. She said she would be willing to sort if out between ourselves and bypass the CSA as it was such an expensive leap. She said she was only thinking of me. She said something else and then reiterated she was only thinking of me.
I said okay I will have a look and a think about it. Felt a bit fishy to me, why would she suddenly give a sh*t now??
I need to double check but it looks like if we both dont agree to the terms the CSA set out then it will be collected by "Collect and Pay" which will mean a 20% increase at my end and a 4% deduction at her end.
The thing is, as long I don't have any late payments and I don't want to go via Collect and Pay then nothing changes for me.
Only thinking of me....she must think I got off the last WAS boat!
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
No matter, you should always do your due diligence when it's money coming out of your pocket no matter who it's going to.
You're doing great. Stay off the coaster.
She may have misunderstood. Very keen to tell me how she was doing for me though.
I don't feel like a victim, hope I don't sound like one, just updating my sitch.
I will be phoning them this week to get to the bottom of it fully.
I'm putting anti-coaster armour on tomorrow for when we all go out to dinner.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
