F- I haven't read every post on your thread so apologies if I was suggesting something that conflicts with other advice. I was trying to read the message from your W's perspective and I feel like she would perceive it as you blaming her. It is true that she made the decision to break up the R, but no doubt she felt that it was a last-ditch effort to get out of what she perceived was a bad R. So in her eyes it's your fault. If you try to lay blame on her it's likely to backfire and make her think "he still doesn't get it". In my opinion the DB approach is not to lay blame or do anything to "wake them up", but rather just to become independent of them. That's why I liked SP's response, it would send a message to your W more like "F is a busy guy and doesn't have time to accept your invitation right now", which is a more DB response than what you posted.
