It's Not Over 'Till It's Over

[Fight4MyWife]

I spent the night contemplating my response to wife's email & this morning I was about to formulate my reply, but before I got to it my wife phoned me to see I had received the email & we got into the discussion over the phone.

I could tell my wife was getting very emotional about this. I tried to empathise & validate her thoughts & feelings but I did also point out that it was a little manipulative. I stuck to me not moving out of the house & she was getting very upset, I stayed calm & compassionate throughout but still maintained my position.

She then said it would "have" to go to court and the conversation came to an end.

I emailed her shortly after to explain that I believe that we can sort things out between ourselves and that is only "has" to go to court if she wants it to.

She rang back later after reading that asking what I had in mind regarding sorting things out. She thinks sorting things out means me moving out & that if I don't then it has to go to court.

When she gets into asking me the reasons why I am not willing to move out and put her an my son in such a terrible situation I found myself explaining that I believe she has other options and that these are her decisions.

She then questions what other options she has, to which I responded that she is welcome to live in the house, but I don't want to move out and also that I believe the relationship is salvageable etc. I think I ended up sounding like I was begging & pleading her to come back again. This was not my intention but just my answer to the questions & my reasons for not moving out.

She doesn't feel we can sort it out between ourselves as her idea of sorting it out is me agreeing to do what she wants.

This second conversation did feel to get a little heated & she definitely got emotional & angry. I tried to maintain calm & compassionate but also did find myself saying that these were her decisions a lot & I could not be made responsible for her choices. I also feel I did talk too much about how I thought the relationship could be saved and if she would just trust me all this could be made right.

I feel frustrated after this conversation because I know I shouldn't beg or plead & it feels like that is how I came across, but the things I said are the reasons why I am not willing to move out of the house. It is true that she does have these options rather than blaming me for her current situation.

I feel like I have messed this up & don't know what I should do next.