my wife left, but still lives with me

[MrBond]

"So i wasn't really referring to my 'success'...more so about other people's situations. Mentioning it because i thought it was a bit disheartening."

I got that. I was talking about your thoughts of other people's successes.

" I feel that she is numb from us drifting apart, going to counseling, getting better, drifting apart. She has built a wall and i see how the process of detaching and GAL'ing is really the only option."

Not necessarily. Have you actually figured out WHY and HOW you two drifted apart? You haven't really mentioned problems that you had in the M from her POV. Be honest and replay any disagreements she may have had with you.

"Show change, dont just talk about it."

And what exactly is that change?

"If the pain i feel is an indicator of passion, i am certainly not lacking any of that."

Pain is not passion. Passion is the fire you feel to WANT to save your M. That no matter what negative thoughts arise, you will save your M and not let anything deter you from that goal.

"I brought up that subject of potentially it being better for us to separate because sometimes i think it is difficult to differentiate between the pain of losing someone's love versus the pain of losing that person to another/all the difficulties that come with divorce. Make a twisted sense?"

It's not. It's actually very simple. Do you want to save your M to this person whom you've shared your life with or do you want to move on and start from scratch with someone else. Starting over with someone new is the easier option, but you don't know that in a year or so, if the problems remained from before, it will pop up again regardless of who you're with.

"I felt her growing distant and repeatedly asked, truly asked and was willing to listen, to why. She kept telling me 'nothing really'. Perhaps she didn't believe I truly wanted to know. I don't know, i can't talk to her about it "

She probably didn't know or understand why. She just "felt" it. You could try reintroducing yourself to her slowly rather than cutting things off cold turkey.