Sinking into a dark place

[melissag]

For 10-12 years, it's been me. All I'm saying is could it be possible it's her? And if it is, if she loved me, why wouldn't she go to the DR to try to see if everything is ok?

Sure, it's possible it's her. It's more likely both of you. But nobody here is going to say, "yep, it's her. Oh well, that $ucks." We are all going to say that whether she carries some blame or responsibility is irrelevant because she is not the one who is here trying to figure this out. You are. You can't make her change. And what if we did all say, "yep, this is all her fault"? How would that help? It wouldn't. No matter how many people agree with you that yes, this is her fault, if YOUR W doesn't see it that way, what good is that?

So like we have said . . . change yourself. Read DR. Read SSM. Read the other books that have been recommended to you. And start changing YOU. Not for her, or the way she wants you to be, but the way YOU want to be.