Thanks for the update etc, I'm sorry to hear things are were they are. The good news is you sound like you're doing as well as can be expected, all things considered. All those emotions you listed are normal, and you'll have to feel them to move forward.
Best wishes and happy holidays to you and your family.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
