Afraid I have waited too long

[nit84]

My W told me that she felt so alone for the last two years of our M. I have tried over the past six months during our S to give her time and space. I have tried probably not very well to not pursue but to at least keep contact with her. I slipped up a couple times and told the W that I loved her.

Over the last 3 weeks I have not contacted her. She contacted me twice and I replied after a few hours but kept it short. I have not gone over to the marital home in a month.

I guess what I am asking is. Is this the smart thing to do? I mean she felt lonely and here I am not contacting her because it hurts too much.

I just dont understand her unwillingness to go to counseling. I have only asked twice since the S.

Am I just supposed to keep waiting because it is her decision to reconcile or not? She has all the power.

Is there some technique to pull her back in and take some of the power back without pushing her away further. I have been GALing and trying to keep a PMA but this feeling that I should be doing something not just waitng for W to get out of the fog or make up her mind is overwelming me at the moment.

The last R talk we had was 8 weeks ago and was brought up by her. She said then that she wanted to move foward with the D but needed a couple weeks because she had to research things because she wants to try and do this without attys involved. After two weeks she told me she didnt have time to do this research so it was going to be a bit longer. I want to know what her thoughts are currently but I am leery of asking because I know I am not supposed to bring up R talk.

I am losing confidence that I am doing right thing and going about this correctly. Any advice?