Hey Bets - glad it is warming up out there. It felt cold to me here in Fairfax this morning but since the temperature didn't have a minus sign in front of it, I figured I didn't have any reason to complain based on what you folks have been getting hit with out there.
So until GolfGirl arrives to update us on her dating life with the new and improved Dave, let me provide the latest from this Dave out here in Northern Virginia.
First of all, I had expected things to pretty much dry up with the holiday's however the exact opposite seems to be happening and I'm starting to find myself overextending again. I think I have a problem with closing doors and saying no, although I have turned down some requests - I'm not a habitual yes man. So here goes:
Julie and I have been communicating frequently via email and it appears we have basically been living parallel lives without running into each other over the last 15 years until now. We have lived in the same places, visited many of the same countries, have very similar personalities and our exes have very similar backgrounds and dispositions. It has made me that much more interested in her, despite the fact she has the name Julie. We are scheduled to have our first date tomorrow evening for dinner here in the district.
Then there is Sarah. I love her name as it is the same as my youngest daughter. She is very easy on the eyes, a successful professional (VP of Financial Aid and Enrollment Services at a major University) and has a lot of similiar interests as I do. Because I am out of town this weekend to Michigan, we have scheduled a date for next Wednesday.
Next is Lily who is Vietnamese. She seems very sweet, although I have a gut feeling (as Bets puts it "spidey sense") that it is her daughter that is drafting her emails to me and not her. However, for now she interests me enough to play along and see where it goes.
Finally, (and Gineen I blame you for this one ) there is Marice who is - wait for it - 35 years old. Now 99 percent of the time I completely ignore any type of communication from 20 and 30 something year-old women, however she wrote me a very nice and thoughtful email. It wasn't a one line "Hey you're cute and you can reach me at "tellmewhatyoulikesoicanstealyourmoney@y-a-h-o-o.com." So I am intrigued as to why this 35 year old women is interesed in moi. I've responded back to her thanking her for the nice email and asking her exactly what it is about my profile that interests her and why she thinks we could be compatible with a 20 year age difference.
Now I have to say, the interaction I've had just through email with Julie over the last two days has been really encouraging and if after meeting her in person the expectations I am building regarding her are met or exceeded, then I would immediately drop communication with Lily and Marice. I'm not so sure I will with Sarah until I meet her as she seems very promising as well.
So that is probably more than anyone wanted to know. Sorry for the epic version - but things appear to be alive and hopping here in NOVA!
BA, Enjoy your holiday 'gifts' and I'm hoping one of them turns out to be a golfer for you! It sounds like you have quite the selection. I know how tedious this process is, but I'm here to tell you that, with effort and time, it does work.
Betsey, Always a story and an adventure with you. You are truly amazing and no matter what life hands you figure out how to stay positive and keep moving forward. Aren't we glad it's finally getting warmer?! I haven't looked ahead to next week and your last comments are making me nervous! I don't mind snow, but it's been way too cold this past week. Let's get together for something over the holidays....miss you! xo
Life with the new and improved Dave is everything I hoped for and more. He is kind, caring, loving, spiritual...etc. The only fault (thus far) is his wanting more of my time than I am willing to give. He's very patient and understands my need to maintain balance. I messed that up in my marriage and I won't do that again. He's a 'relationship guy' and likes to do everything with his partner. Well, I call that a bit co-dependent and am not willing to travel that road. He is good about understanding and I think setting some boundaries early on is a way to maintain that balance. He calls me "wise" and says all kinds of things that I've been waiting to hear. AND, he follows it up with actions!
So, I would tell everyone that there is a healthy and happy new relationship out there for you if that is what you desire. Become very clear about what you are looking for and then expect it to show up! It will....
Happy Holidays!!
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
GG: I'm so happy to hear that life with Dave is going well. As for him wanting more of your time - that's a good thing. Remember that compromise is key. I remember telling you for a long time that this online dating thing was a lot of work but it was with it.
BA: sounds like you have some great options in front of you. You know the drill. I hope one of them is the girl of your dreams. Sometimes you have to date a few frogettes before you find your Princess!
As for the COLD comment - we are way below zero and under a huge dump of snow. On my way out of town for an ultrasound today (no - I'm definitely NOT pregnant) & I will have to drive in a blizzard. Prayers would help for both the weather & my health. Much appreciated. Thanks
Big hugs Barb and sending prayers your way. I hope you get nothing but good news.
BA, I hope things go well with Julie. To me that sounds like the most promising pairing. You have been living your lives along the same lines and now have come together. As for her name, it doesn't need to be an issue unless you make it one. Odds are she has a different personality, different look and is in a different point of her life versus where you and your first were.
So happy for you GG. Good to be holding your boundaries. You are teaching him how to treat you. We all need to remember that in our next relationships.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I'm worried - that's for sure. But I'm ready to face whatever. Ashley is coming with me. Lucky she is not working and can help. Everything happens for a reason
Appt was cancelled. Tech could not make it in to hospital due to heavy snow. Will reschedule in a couple of days. So I wait... Weather does look better after tomm
Kat - I agree and really the more I communicate with her the less weirded out I am about the name. Totally different person and personality. I'm looking forward to meeting her tonight!
So I received bad news last night. I have a house in Florida that I have rented out for the last 8 1/2 years to the same tenant. My property manager notified me that the tenant has given notice and is moving out at the end of the month. He has been on a month to month forever. To top it all off, the real estate firm that has been managing the rental for me is downsizing and they are no longer going to be in the property management business. So I need to find a new manager and a new tenant ASAP as I can ill afford to carry two mortgages for an extended period of time. I also am going to have to take some time off of work now to travel to Florida and get the house ready for a new tenant, i.e. paint it, probably get some new carpeting in, minor repairs, etc. Ugghhh - another Rosanna Rosanna Dana situation of "It's always something!"
BA: where in Florida is your house? I doubt you will have any trouble renting it. I just hired a concierge to look after my place & so glad I did because someone just offered to rent mine while I'm in Hawaii next month. Short notice & I can't get down there but my concierge can move my personal stuff for me.
And about "the name" - reminds me of "the birthday". When I first met Josh online - he told me his birthday was Dec 28. Same day as ex. I told him that with that birthday - no way I'd go out with him. Seems so silly now. My kids never forget Josh's birthday - same day as their dad's
I like the sounds of Julie though Sarah does sound pretty. My daughter's middle name. She was supposed to be Sarah Ashley but my 2 pregnant friends were having girls & naming them Sarah. So when mine was born & was the long awaited girl - I switched her to Ashley Sarah. And yep - she's pretty!
My house is in Merritt Island which is near Cape Canaveral and Cocoa Beach. I'm hoping it rents quickly, but I would feel more optimistic if it was in the summer instead of the dead of winter when less people are looking to move. We shall see.
So yes I think I have two solid women here and would be lucky to have either one. Oh and to make matters even more interesting, today I had an old high school classmate reach out to me via facebook. We have traded a few comments back and forth on FB but nothing too significant or flirty. Anyway, she sent me a FB message first thing this morning stating she has been "thinking about me". Which has started up a whole interesting conversation. She was three years behind me in school, but I do remember her as she was associated with the "popular kids" in school - I was the band geek! She ended up being homecoming queen the year she graduated (could this be the classic story of geek ends up with beauty queen??) Anyway, her name is Sarah as well - so it's Sarah - 2, Julie - 1.
There are a couple of other interesting tidbits going on in my life that make me scratch my head. One involves my ex. In talking to her last night about the Florida house (we are both still tied to the loan), she drops the hint that she's been thinking about asking me if she could move into my house and live in the basement bedroom to save us both money - but she's afraid that my cramp my lifestyle. Uh, yes it just might. Plus I told her that her boyfriend probably wouldn't be too crazy about that as well. She said, he's too self-centered to care. So I guess the romance in her life isn't going well. Anyhow, I found the whole thing weird and it's not happening.
I beg to differ with you about it being a bad time to rent your place. This IS the best time - numerous snowbirds would love to rent - or buy at this time of year. Consider your marketing strategy and target the northerners. JMHO
It never snows - it blizzards!!! You have so many options. Enjoy learning more and finding your best match.
Wow about your ex! That would be a Bad move. I'm thinking her boyfriend is going to be out of the picture soon. It's one thing to have a good R with your ex but that sounds a bit too cosy. Methinks she feels you moving on & the shine is wearing off her new man. Run!
although I have turned down some requests - I'm not a habitual yes man. So here goes:
We are scheduled to have our first date tomorrow evening for dinner here in the district.
) there is Marice who is - wait for it - 35 years old. Now 99 percent of the time I completely ignore any type of communication from 20 and 30 something year-old women, however she wrote me a very nice and thoughtful email. It wasn't a one line "Hey you're cute and you can reach me at "tellmewhatyoulikesoicanstealyourmoney@y-a-h-o-o.com." So I am intrigued as to why this 35 year old women is interesed in moi. I've responded back to her thanking her for the nice email and asking her exactly what it is about my profile that interests her and why she thinks we could be compatible with a 20 year age difference.