As jp points out, I don't want to scare away my squirrel.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
I don't know. Maybe it's because I think PM is a great guy and I am rooting for him, but I just want to say, keep it up. Don't view her coming towards you as a time to back off or set boundaries. Let it happen and see where it goes.
I like this...and agree! Maybe all that patience is finally paying off?
And, yep...you two are consenting adults. You both know "what's what".
As long as you don't feel demeaned by it, and you aren't demeaning her (which you aren't...cause you're an awesome guy)...then, just keep doing what is working.
Okay, so definitely more evidence of reaching out by her. This is...different. Even an idiot like me can see it.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
M35 XW34 D5 D4 M 6years T 10years Bomb 5/2013 Joint Petition signed 6/2013 Moved out end of 8/2013 Court Hearing of Joint Petition 9/2013 D finalized in 3 months - no news yet
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
What is with the hit and runs today? Spill it, PM.
Just a positive experience followed up by a positive reaction and confirmation, by her, to the experience.
It may be something, it may be nothing, but it sure feels like something. The overall body of work is making a compelling case that things are turning in a new direction.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
So, I had a meeting with D10's teachers Wednesday morning before school. Last week I asked if I could sleep over Tuesday night because I live a good distance away and it would make things much easier.
She was fine with it.
In fact, she was increasingly excited about it and wanted to put the kids to bed early and figure out what we could watch together on Netflix that night.
We watched TV together on the couch with me sitting up and her lying down on me. We laughed and had a great time. We talked a little bit, and she encouraged me to take on what would be a risky venture (for my palate), giving me all sorts of compliments supporting her position of why I should do it.
We go to bed and I vowed to myself not to initiate anything that night, so I was careful to stay on my side.
Her foot kept creeping over to warm up to mine time and time again the entire night.
There was definitely a connection, even with no intimacy.
In fact, the reason I vowed to myself not to initiate anything was because she was doing me a favor by letting me stay there, in her bed, and I didn't want her thinking that I viewed all favors she did me as sexual invitations...that I respected her space.
Yesterday morning she sent me a text reenforcing her compliments to me and encouraging me to take on that risky venture because she knew I would make it succeed.
I decided to stick to my plan of alternating nights I go up to her house during the week, so I stayed in my own world last night. Again, just trying to show respect for space and maintain some basic "we're divorced" boundaries.
She texted me yesterday evening and asked what my plans for tonight were, and I told her that I was planning on coming up.
Her reply: "Ok!!!"
A minute later she texted: "Slept better last night" Me: I slept well too XW: Was nice Me: Yeah XW:
So I remain with no expectations, but these types of experiences are becoming more frequent as I wrote a little bit about previously. Which is definitely "different", as I put it last night.
Tangentially, I got to be Dad again in my girls' home (that always makes me feel good, even if it isn't real). D4 got up in the middle of the night and I snuggled with her and talked with her for a bit, then put her back to bed. I also got to help out with the girls' morning before-school routine, which runs much smoother with the two of us parents than with just XW.
So that was nice too.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
