my wife left, but still lives with me

[tough spot]

I have not done the exercises in the book (nmng). I will start that soon, gave it a read, then re-read some specific sections for reference as situations arose. Hopefully i will do them and maybe they will sink in a little more.

As far as detaching, i am unsure about some things. Like she came home from work tonight and i stood up from my chair and gave her a hug. Seemed responsive, but maybe i am not supposed to do that? I haven't emailed her for the past 3 days....usually email at least a couple times per day.....have always done that. She hasn't instigated an email either though.

The going back and forth in my mind is the painful part. Am i doing things correctly as recommended, does my detaching show a lack of interest and hence possibly cause more damage.

Part of me also wonders if by detaching and living in the same house, i am really being a passive person/doormat? At what point to i stand up and say 'this is really painful, if this is the way it is going to be, i want you to move out'. I know i have been quiet in the past rather than cause waves...hence the nmmng book.......