A couple of days have passed. He explained the failure to call a couple of nights ago - said he was watching a movie a fell asleep. Oh well.
But, he has resumed the morning chat sessions. He has even sent a message when he was busy and couldn't text to let me know he'd call later - which he did.
He has called me "Baby" on the phone a couple of times .... getting closer to that "baby girl" pet name? One can hope.
There is a broadway show coming to our city in a couple of months that we both have wanted to see (again). When he was here, I mentioned going by myself or finding someone to go with me. He suggested about a week later that we could go with one of our employees who is coming back with him (she will be staying with us and is not the OW). I said that was fine but I wasn't sure the employee would get the humor. He said I had a good point.
A day or two later, I suggested that we could go on a night when the employee would be occupied with other business stuff (we will have a couple of nights to ourselves). He said he didn't consider that option and he thought it was a good idea and said he'd let me know the next day whether or not to buy the tickets.
The next day, he said go ahead and buy them - that he was looking forward to the two of us going to see the show together ... that it would be fun. So, I guess we have a date.
But, I have gotten no indication that he is ready to cut back on the business over there, so there is a long way to go in that aspect.
He did tell me about a positive thing that happened yesterday at the business there and I texted that he must be happy about that. His response was, "Happy, no ... content, yeah" Then he said it again a couple of messages later. Interesting response - have no idea what it means.
So, I'll keep on keeping on. At least we don't seem to be going backwards!
Me: 59 and holding H: :53 Me: 1 S, 1 D, both grown M: 19 T: 23 BD: 9-23-2013
Yep, things have been okay for the past two weeks. H will be home next week and I'm hoping to practice some of the "act as if" and the advice of imagining how things will go if they go well. I'm working really hard on that ... I think I can pull it off if I don't get anything out of left field ... trying to imagine what that would be!
Me: 59 and holding H: :53 Me: 1 S, 1 D, both grown M: 19 T: 23 BD: 9-23-2013
The morning chats continue. He must have an alarm set on his phone because he texts within 5 minutes of my alarm going off! He's mentioned a couple of times how much enjoys having "coffee" with me in the mornings. I'm glad to hear it ... for the past 3 months there has been precious little of personal communication.
He calls the office a few hours later and has been in such a good mood on the phone. It confuses me because I know there are issues there that he has to deal with most every day (issues he has dealt with over and over again), so I don't understand where the good mood is coming from. I would like to think it is talking with me, but I'm not going to go there!
I got the tires today for his car. I had thought it would be a Christmas present, but those tires were expensive. He offered to repay me when he suggested that I could take the car in for tires. I am now rethinking do this as a Christmas present. I can handle it, but I think it might be too much under the circumstances. IDK.
He will be home in a week for all of 5 days! Then back to the other side of the world. It saddens me a little because our anniversary (16 years) is just after New Years. That will be a tough day to spend here alone.
Me: 59 and holding H: :53 Me: 1 S, 1 D, both grown M: 19 T: 23 BD: 9-23-2013
2Times, there are some similarities in our stitches. My H also had a life of a single man when he traveled for business. And he was also financially dependent on me for a number of years. We also have a business together, but it nothing like yours, it is just a shield for self-employment. We still have to maintain the books and accounts jointly. I remember these times when H would call me to chat and I felt that he was lonely. It all stopped after the BD. He always was an outgoing type, so he always was making friends (including the female once) everywhere he went, and he always liked this life.
You are lucky that your H has not declared that your R is completely over. He is still trying to figure out what he wants. It looks like he still wants to be connected to you. I know how you feel about the anniversary. My is right before the New Years, but I’m not expecting anything. There was nothing last year too, since my H told me he was done and moving on.
Thanks for stopping by my thread. I hope you will make the most of these 5 days when your H is home.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Don't overthink it. Just enjoy the interactions you have and make the best of your time together... I think it is way too soon to try and determine what his "motives are." Especially if he is true MLC, even a mild case... I would suspect that right now all he knows is you are a bright spot in his life, he enjoys communicating with you. It would be surprising to me if he has made any BIG, final determinations about what he wants or intends to do.
So, since he is ENJOYING you... keep that positive momentum going. Continue to make interactions with you something he wouldn't want to lose.
Would it matter to you right now in this moment if some of his motivation DID come from the business? The fact that you are getting opportunities to reconnect is good. I think if it was ALL about the business and making money, you would eventually see this behavior being too hard for him to keep "putting on." But it seems better to wait and see for awhile longer than trying to force the issue.
me-35 WAS-37 T-16 1/2 Son-14 (HF Aspergers) BD,ILYBINILWY,"I met my soulmate": Oct5,2013 "Letting go because I love him, holding on because I love him."
