lol NQ and MH I mustn't leave MH out or he might get the hump, lol.
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
I've not updated for a while, so I thought I'd better, lol. No news from H, though he did pop in the other day and left a toy mouse on top of my monitor. Very strange! I think it's his way of telling me he's been here, but who's knows, lol. Anyway the trip to the German market was good, my son was wowed by it I didn't realise he'd not been before and he loved it The film was good as well I've been thinking more lately of moving on. I'm fed up of H at the mo, I've not seen him for a while but I want a bit of company and I'm fed up with being on my own with just my son for company. I want more hugs, not bothered about the other bit though atm, lol. I think I've mentioned before about this other chap who works at the youth club I help out with. I don't know if he's being friendly or whether he does like me, but he's always quite chatty. He's quite nice and I think about him a lot. I also think about the decorator as well, lol, that hug was kinda nice I'm still not going to go there with the decorator though, no sirree Anyway, nearly everytime we chat I find I've got something else in common with him! I'm not looking for things in common, it's just really strange how we have. He is a bit of a flirt with all the girls there and as the only bloke there he probably feels outnumbered. I'm not sure how old he is, but I know he's more my age I look forward to going to the youth club more since he's started Like you said before NQ, it does wonders for your PMA Does anyone else feel like this at times, to forget about your spouse and move on? Trouble is you get friends all the time saying to move on and get over him and why would you want him back after all he's done! I always say I'm standing for my marriage, but when I talk to non Christian friends they don't understand. I get fed up of saying this and then I start wondering why I am standing for my marriage. The last time a friend said that to me, I just said I don't know why. At the mo I've found that other men have got more going for them than my H. I have felt like this for a while now. He's still not got a job because he's got depression and anxiety, but even though I've supported him through this he still leaves! Depression is definitely contagious and when I caught it off him, he had no compassion. I would go to bed in the afternoon and he would moan to me about it, I would have no enthusiasm for cleaning and tidying the house or being intimate with him. I was just so down with his depression that I felt sometimes it was just an excuse for him not to work and he just didn't float my boat like he used to. When he is working though, things are a lot different. He's happier and I feel happier and I'm more likely to be intimate with him. I still feel he gave up on our marriage too easily without trying to sort it out. But then that was because of the state he was in when he left. It's just annoying when you spend years putting up with them and then they just decide that enough is enough. He's also annoying me lately. He's being nice, but like on Sunday when he dropped my son off he said "ta ta" instead of bye when he was going. It just really irritates me when he says that, it's one of the new words he's added to his vocab and I hate it with a passion. I think though a lot of this is because I'm pre-menopausal and I get very irritated easily. I'm probably going through a MLC now, lol. I've also started paying more attention when I get attention, I wasn't that bothered before. I'm not going to spell it out, but you get my drift Anyway, I'll just have to see what happens. I'll not be having him back unless he sorts out his debts and gets a proper job. I'm sure that God will guide me on my way, but I feel that I'm being tempted or tested at the mo.
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Hey TTD you're not the only wondering about moving on. There have been times when I definitely do not miss my H, times when I wonder why I'm standing, times I wonder what brought us together in the first place as we're complete opposites. Then there's the other times when I desperately want to get things fixed and improved so that I can grow old (or rather, really old) with my H.
Maybe it is hormones. Flirting and compliments do make you feel good. And we all need adult company in our lives .
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
I think it may be because I don't see him that often. When I do see him and he is acting like my H then it is different. The fact is that he is not acting like my H at the mo and he doesn't even stick around anymore to watch a bit of TV or have a coffee. I get the impression that he's done and already moved on. I'm full of "what ifs?" at the mo - what if i meet someone and he decidea he wants to come back? is my big one at the mo. I do think of my son as well, of how much better he will be to have his dad back in our lives and to know that we have saved our marriage. I wonder at times what we're teaching our kids, that it's ok just to give up on your marriage? Both our parents have been divorced - his mum's been married 3 times. I was hoping that this time round we would break the cycle of this happening and actually work at saving our marriage. Anyway, I'm too busy to be brooding too much about this, lol. I've still got a lot to do before Christmas and it's not going to get done itself We're at an activity day tomorrow, doing crafts with the kids I'm really looking forward to it My HM friend is still pestering me to meet up and I keep having to put her off. She's getting me down at the mo She said that she misses our chats, but we've only missed a week! I said I know but it's a busy time of the year and she just said never mind. I think that she was thinking that I would say, yes I miss them too! I've got plenty to keep me busy next week and she should GAL! lol.
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Well, that was quite an update! It seems that... you're human! Don't feel bad. Everything you've describe is perfectly natural given the situation and all you've put up with.
NQ, you're human too, it seems!
You both miss the companionship, and when someone gives you attention it feels great, but you value the M you made a commitment to - and the contrast with how the MLC twins are treating it is bound to cause some internal conflict. You both put your family first and make sure your kids are a priority in all of this.
I get might frustrated with my W as well - although she's mostly slipped back into her old ways - most of the new habits she picked up don't seem to have stuck. Let's hope that goes for new Rs as well!
Now that I've stated the obvious... ;-) I'm sure you both could get all the attention you want from the guys, so you've shown remarkable restraint.
Those darn MLC twins should realize how lucky they are and how well they had it.
I agree MH, they should think themselves lucky I think it's probably due to the fact that I've felt detached from H for a while and he's already detached from me. He's showing no signs of wanting to come back, yes he's being nice on the phone but still not sticking around after he drops my son off. Unlike NQ's H who's starting to make an effort to reconnect and maybe eventually a chance to R Actually that applies to your w as well MH, you two actually go out on dates! lol. I'm starting to feel left out
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
It might all be due to the time of year as well TTD. Things may change once Christmas is over. I still suspect mine may just be trying to smooth things over so that he can talk me into helping convince our son to meet OW and her son. It still won't be happening.
All of our spouses should think themselves lucky.
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
Believe me, I question what it is I'm trying to save, too. I'm starting to get the notion that normal, happy couples have s*x! so if W and I get back together, we sure have a LOT of work and catching up to do. <sigh>
I mustn't leave MH out or he might get the hump, lol.
She said that she misses our chats, but we've only missed a week! I said I know but it's a busy time of the year and she just said never mind. I think that she was thinking that I would say, yes I miss them too! I've got plenty to keep me busy next week and she should GAL! lol.
