Love, hope, history, stubborness and, in some respects, fear ... the fear that someday I might regret that I didn't do everything I could to try to save my marriage. The fear that if I gave up too soon and threw away my last, best chance to reconcile with the man I fell in love with so many years ago, I would regret it for many years to come. I have to know, regardless of the outcome, that I gave it my best shot.
I also see how much pain he is going through and how lost he is, and although I can't do much to help him find his way, I have to stand by him and offer what little I can give him. I would hope he would do the same for me, and oddly, I know somewhere deep down inside that he would in whatever way he could.
Another thing that keeps me going is this bb. It is so comforting to know that those who are going through this are so willing to reach out and boost me when I need it or rein me in when I need that. The people here are definitely on the list of what keeps me going. If not for them, I don't know where I'd be right now, but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be a particularly nice place.
Me: 59 and holding H: :53 Me: 1 S, 1 D, both grown M: 19 T: 23 BD: 9-23-2013
