Reaching out for support and advice!!

[MrBond]

"I usually start out validating, then things spiral from there. "

How? Do you start telling him he's "wrong"? You can't do that and validate him at the same time. You can't control how he chooses to feel, however when he does say something that isn't right factually (not what you think), just tell him that you don't seem remember it that way.