It was the best of times it was the worst of times

[MrBond]

My thought is that you didn't thoroughly read DR or DB.

It explains why you don't overly do nice things for your spouse because you will get a negative reaction. Go back and read it.

"I called W and left a voicemail yesterday. She has gone to not answering her phone, or apparently even returning my calls. I called her to arrange a time to exchange vehicles, so I left an upbeat voicemail expressing wanting to get this accomplished in the next couple of days. No call back or email as of yet."

Then let it go. Don't wait on her. Make plans. If she calls back with a time that she wants to exchange and you already have something planned, don't change your plans for her. Tell her you'll have to do it another day since she didn't get back to you earlier.

"At the original BD, she gave me a handwritten letter in which she stated she wanted us to be able to "communicate effectively" throughout this process. She's not holding up her end of the bargain."

First of all, you don't know what she meant by that. Therefore you may not even understand what "her end of the bargain" was.

'I am just killing her with kindness at this point. I washed, waxed, armor all'ed, Rain-x'ed the windows, vacuumed inside and out and put on tire shine on her car to give back to her. I have been nothing but cordial and positive throughout her quest to rid herself of me and it seems like she is getting colder."

Go back and read the books.

"I asked her how I could best pray for her during this time,"

Why? You saying that makes it sound like you're being judgemental of her and that you are "holier" than she is. I understand that it is probably not your intent, but that's how you sound.

"and her response was "pray that the process continues to go smoothly." How audacious!"

Why is it "audacious". It's audacious to you and not her. She wants it to be peaceful. Nothing wrong with that.

"This once loving woman didn't even ask how she could pray for me back."

Why does she need to? That's just what YOU wish she would do. You can't control other people.

"My W was the most caring loving woman before, it seems like her heart has turned to stone."

She probably is still the caring woman. The only problem is that you don't see her acting that way towards you and you feel hurt from the lack of attention.

"I don't think I'm doing anything to provoke this attitude."

You want to control how she feels. You don't need to do anything.