Lots of good stuff here...lots to mull over...and there isn't a rush.

FY, the FEAR is her current state, she's quit her ADs and has been going up and down, very fragile right now (aside from the mlc "stage" fragility). I'm not sure I want to risk "run" reaction, or worse....I do want to try to make this xmas better than last years, or at least good. So picking the time will be important, and also the method of delivery.

I'm also pondering a learning opportunity here for s3, to encourage him to tell her himself. With me nearby and as backup of course...

How would I approach this "as if" things were working out, as the "new" me, as Mach said?

Pondering... and yes, their concerns are more important. This would be less complicated for me if it wasn't the holidays...

In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus

Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm