Have fun Busting and thanks for weighing in on my thread. Your thoughts are always valuable
The"don't tell the kids" is a bit of a red flag for me, in case he doesn't show up. I just want you to be prepared. But the good thing is that if he is thinking he may not show, then he is thinking about not disappointing the kids- which is a nice little step in the right direction of being a father
Just my thoughts anyway ( but you know they stem from yesterday lmao)
Hi Ruby- I immediately thought the same thing as you with the 'don't tell the kids' but then I thought why would he say it in the first place to me? I know I shouldn't have any expectations and I don't- bu I do think he really may do this for the kids.
However ... I do understand where you are comng from!
What do you have planned for the weekend?
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
I cant let go of H not being involved in the kids lives. And thats what it will be. That is not speculation. I will not stay in this country, I will not keep the door open.
busting, glad to hear about daughters performance. I agree with Ruby... I still too am working on the detach. it is hard with h texting d15 everyday on my phone. I know easy answer, get her her own phone... really I am too nice to him. sometimes, I think to myself, why the h am I being kind?
hope you guys have a great show! my d's show got rescheduled for Mon eve due to weather. h and I will sit together as always...
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
Busting, sounds like you have a fun and busy weekend planned. I like that you have found a way to be more grateful and appreciative of the positive moments in your life. I really do think that is what separates us from the MLCer and gives us the strength to walk through this journey, that even with all the crap that is happening, we don't stay mired in it... we find the ability to appreciate the good, happiness really is about having the mindset to appreciate all the positives and simple pleasures.
I hope your H will show up to D's performance, but even if he doesn't remember in that moment you are there to support and enjoy your daughter. Don't let his bad decisions keep you from being able to live in the joy of the moment for yourself and your daughter.
me-35 WAS-37 T-16 1/2 Son-14 (HF Aspergers) BD,ILYBINILWY,"I met my soulmate": Oct5,2013 "Letting go because I love him, holding on because I love him."
Cadet, my apologies. Yes, it has been misunderstood. What I meant to say, quite poorly, is I cannot let go because if I do, for me, it would mean not staying in this country and not keeping the door open. If I let go, I would leave. I would leave the country. And for me, that would mean starting anew. Closing the door. Leaving H in the past with everything else. And I cannot do that because I cannot do that for what I believe in my core. I WANT my kids to be raised by their father. I want my kids to have their family together. I believe in H-even through I struggle at times to do so. I am still thinking its all or nothing, and at my core I feel that there is no other way to give my kids what they need and deserve.
H being 20 percent in and 80 percent out...it's not working well for us...for my my kids or me. Things may be changing slowly, maybe, and they may not be. I believe, in spite of what H is going through, with OW present, we cannot know.
I am not making any decisions right NOW. its not the time. I guess thats why I am still here. Because the next step I would make for me, is not staying here and not keeping the door open. But that wouldnt be authentic for me right now. I want to keep my faith.I want to keep digging deep. I want to keep learning and growing. I want to trust.
I cannot let go of H and my kids' relationship. I cannot let go of the family they yearn for. So..I am still standing right now. I am still digging to keep going.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
WBW I understand what you are saying. Dont forget, our responses are what we chose them to be. We are kind because we want to be kind, in spite of what we are being given. Because that is who WE are. Not because of anyone else.
I hope your D's performance goes well! My D is the narrator so she is excited but also concerned that she 'wont be seen a lot on the stage..' lol
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Thank you TL for your post. You are very wise and insightful and often I dont know how to respond to you because you seem to have an insight into things already :-)
I hope H does show up too. FWIW, I feel like he is spending time with OW right now because we have not had phone calls to the kids, or texts about calling them.... for two days. Like he is paying his dues to OW and has to remain silent so that he can come and see D6 show.
At this point in time, I dont care. If he comes, that is all that matters right now.
This situation gives us the opportunity to become appreciative for the things we would have taken for granted . This is what I need to remember.. to be appreciative.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
