Look what the cat dragged in! (TL) - Act 2

[tigerlily78]

My first question, as your friend and fellow Aspie mom, what are your state's laws on common law marriage, especially when children are the result?

Would you be able to ask for spousal support from him?

How much would you be able to expect in child support from him?

You don't need to tell your H about any of these questions. But, you need to know the answers.

Is your child eligible for disability?

Our state doesn't recognize Common Law Marriages formed after 1992 or something like that, so I won't be eligible for spousal support, just child support.

My son is very high functioning, so until he attempts to get employment of his own and there is some evidence that his disability keeps him from holding a job, I don't think he will qualify. We live in a Southern State, so the programs are very skewed towards not paying benefits if they can find any excuse not to.

So for the time being, allowing H to pay the household expenses is financially a better deal for me, even if it does give him a sense of leverage and control over his coming and going. And I do get the sense that he cares about son enough that even if H and I totally fell out and hated each other he would uphold this commitment. As much as he is letting son down in the emotional department now, I don't see him being able to take on the guilt of also putting son through the upheaval of leaving our home. What does concern me is that H may make other decisions without considering how they might impact his ability to uphold the commitment. But I have no control over that.